This weekend I took my three children on a BIG FOOD SHOP, fool that I am…
After issuing warnings and threats through gritted teeth, followed by pleading and promises of Kinder Eggs, squirty cream and chocolate breakfast cereal, I strutted (think Super Nanny in cowboy chaps) into the supermarket full of confidence and misplaced optimism… fool that I am.
One child wonderfully engrossed in book, hell I was feeling cocky at this point!
Five minutes in, things start to go tits up… Whoopieeeee, let’s start dragging our limbs and hair along the floor under the speeding trolly.
Sod this reading shit, I’m outta here!
Yup… I think I started shouting around about here…
Oh no, no, no, It was definitely here I cracked, Oskaaaaaaaaar! FFS!
After regaining control of boys, Victoria goes walkabout. After much frantic shouting and searching she is found applying lashing of scarlet lipstick a la Hookersville.
Then I lost Oskar, after more searching and an announcement on the tannoy (So freakin’ embarrassing!) we found him… in the rock salt.
AXEL get back in the bloody trolly! He is in, but that look is saying “Bollocks to this Mama, I’m off to poke and scream at some seafood!”
Octopus for poking and screaming at, before being told off by fish counter girl… Hell she was mean!
An escaped Axel embarks in a little more climbing, before getting trapped in trollies and screaming the damn supermarket down. Mortified!
Back home, slightly shaken, to hastily ram food into burgeoning fridge. This photo both excites and disturbs me… (broccoli was on special)
Then my friends, I drank wine… lots of it